I myself was surprised when my dad had said, good morning sweet heart, how did you sleep? I was just mad by what he said and in my mind I was thinking, youre seriously going to act like that after what youve done to me. But then I had just realize that he was drunk so he probably doesnt remember anything about last night. Of course I acted like I didnt know anything too and just replied, I slept great. How about you? Confused, he said, I sept great also, although I feel so tired, it feels like I used a whole lot of strength last night. Getting emotional, I said, oh, youre probably just working to hard. With me saying that, after breakfast, I had done the dishes and I also did the laundry right after I was done. I didnt want him to notice any fluids on the sheets. When I looked on the bed spread, I found drips of blood on it and I started crying. In my head, I said, why did my dad have to do this?! My dad walked in the laundry room and saw me crying, he asked, whats wrong honey?. It's not that I was in love with him or wanted to leave my husband and marry him. Andrew and I had been happily married for six years, after all, and I had never once contemplated straying. No, it wasn't lust. I rather think I was addicted to the illicit thrill of flirting with someone not my spouse. It was so much fun playing at being naughty right under our unsuspecting coworkers' noses that I couldn't stop even when it started to become more than a game. Work was suddenly interesting. I rushed to get there early in the morning and the weekends seemed to drag by. I lay awake thinking of new ways to torment Ryan and was surprised at how dirty and devious my mind could be.Like the time I slinked up to him doe-eyed and sensuous in the break room while he was getting coffee, leaned in as if for a kiss, then brusquely said "excuse me" and walked right on past with a brush of my boob leaving him flat-footed and flustered. Or the time in the crowded elevator when I managed to stand.
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